3.

At that time, Jesus said to His disciples, You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor, and shall hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who persecute and calumniate you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven, Who makes His sun to rise on the good and the evil, and sends rain on the just and the unjust. For if you love those that love you, what reward shall you have? Do not even the publicans do that? And if you salute you brethren only, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do that? You therefore are to be perfect, even as you heavenly Father is perfect. Take heed not to do your good before men, in order to be seen by them; otherwise you shall have no reward with your Father in heaven. Therefore when you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and streets, in order that they may be honored by men. Amen I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be given in secret; and your Father, Who sees in secret, will reward you.

-Matthew 5:43-48; 6:1-4

I’m really blessed to have the ability to sit with the Blessed Sacrament, both in my home oratory and in a local cathedral church while an individual I support goes to choir practice. Last night there was a wedding rehearsal going on when I arrived so I wasn’t able to sit in the pew in front of the tabernacle, but I was able to still be present and in eyesight. As the wedding rehearsal ended and the choir started it’s rehearsal, I began my Holy Hour with the rosary. The priest turned off the lights in the cathedral which startled everyone, including myself, but I found it easy to get past the outward distractions back into my adoration. After the rosary, I prayed Vespers and Compline. Yawning a few times, I’d have to pause; this isn’t something new, in fact I think Our Lord appreciates these kinds of efforts to keep on going even when we are distracted by things like exhaustion.

As of late, when I pray I have intrusive thoughts that pop up. Usually I give them no mind–if they’re regarding a certain situation or individual, I focus the prayer on that situation and think that it’s just my mind doing what it does. Last night when the intrusive thoughts came up, I laughed internally and thought how repetitive the mind can be when wanting to produce distractions. Thoughts of rage, of anger, moments when I was humiliated, or not able to follow through and the subsequent shame and guilt.

These are all enemies. We should not shun them but embrace them and welcome them. In some situations, during prayer when these thoughts arise there’s something we need to see that may give us hope, push us forward, or there may be an unresolved issue that is coming to the surface we need to give thought on, or perhaps act on. Then, there are the intrusive thoughts that are meant purely for distraction from prayer. In any number of forms, sometimes distracting to the point of shaking ones self out of the peace and stillness of prayer, their entire purpose is to create not only distraction, but frustration as well.

In the case of distractions of this type, recognize it’s “just going to be one of those days” and move forward. Return your focus to your prayer, and push through as best as you can.

3.

2.


At that time, when Jesus had entered Capharnaum, there came to Him a centurion, who entreated Him, saying, Lord, my servant is lying sick in the house, paralyzed, and is grievously afflicted. Jesus said to him, I will come and cure him. But in answer the centurion said, Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man subject to authority, and have soldiers subject to me; and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it. And when Jesus heard this, He marveled, and said to those who were following Him, Amen I say to you, I have not found such great faith in Israel. And I tell you that many will come from the east and from the west, and will feast with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, but the children of the kingdom will be put forth into the darkness outside; there will be the weeping, and the gnashing of teeth. Then Jesus said to the centurion, Go your way; as you have believed, so be it done to you. And the servant was healed in that hour.

Matthew 8:5-13

From “Homosexuality in the Bible: The Centurion’s Servant” by Isabelle Green.

Many scholars have highlighted the connotation of the Greek noun pais, which the centurion uses to describe his ill servant. It has a number of different meanings, such as ‘boy’ or ‘slave’. When referring to a ‘slave’ in the analogy he presents to Jesus, however, the centurion uses the standard Greek doulos, supporting the critical interpretation that his pais is no ordinary servant. Scholars have likewise suggested that it would be unlikely for a centurion to go to such lengths for a normal member of his household staff, and therefore their relationship must have been something more than that of master and servant.

One theory is that the pais was not the centurion’s servant or slave, but his ‘son’. However, a law introduced by the Emperor Augustus in 13 BC, which banned soldiers below the rank of officer from marrying, undermines this interpretation: although soldiers would father children outside of marriage, it was unlikely that he would have had an illegitimate son living in his home. Instead, many have suggested a reading of the pais as his male lover, due to literary evidence of homosexuality in the Roman military. Moreover, pais was sometimes used in Ancient Greek texts as a label for the younger partner of a same-sex relationship, alongside expressions of love or desire. In the Luke version of the passage, the centurion labels his servant entimos, which can mean ‘honoured’ or ‘cared for’, but may also signify emotional closeness in a romantic partnership.

The scholars Theodore W. Jennings and Tat-Siong Benny Liew have suggested that the dynamic between the centurion and his pais was more of a patron-client relationship; in this case, the centurion takes on the role of an influential patron, while his lover is a younger, less powerful man who relies on him like a client. This theory may provide an answer to a puzzling element of the story: why did the centurion not want Jesus to enter his household, despite asking for his help? Jennings and Liew explain that although the centurion is desperate in his appeal, he also fears that Jesus will come to his home in a position of authority and replace him in the role of saviour and patron to the pais. Again, the relationship lends itself to an interpretation of sexual power.

If we accept the theory that the connection of the centurion and his servant is homoerotic, then Jesus’ amazement at the centurion’s faith becomes highly significant in the discussion of religion and sexuality. Rather than recommending the death sentence that is prescribed for male homosexuality in Leviticus 20, Jesus praises the man’s faith, telling the crowd that he has never seen anything like it, and heals the pais. Far from condemning homosexuality, Jesus might be endorsing it. This reading of the centurion and his servant completely subverts the hetero-centric framework of love and relationships in the Bible, and therefore ought to be central to the discussion.

2.

1.

At that time, Jesus said to His disciples, When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, who disfigure their face in order to appear to men as fasting. Amen I say to you, they have received their reward. But you, when you do fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not be seen fasting by men, but by your Father, Who is in secret; and your Father, Who sees in secret, will reward you. Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where rust and moth consume, and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither rust nor moth consumes, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.

-Mathew 6:16-21

What motivates us to action?

Many Catholics, Christians, will be attending Ash Wednesday services this morning in order to receive an imprint of ashes on the forehead. This is one of a few outward symbols of our faith, one that is visible publicly. It declares that we have entered the the time of fasting, of penance, of charity, those acts that are characteristic with the time we call Lent.

But what drives us to do this? What is the motivation for our actions?

I have a beta fish on my desk. Each morning, I turn on the light to the tank, greet my fish, and sprinkle some food into the water. Sometimes she eats, lately she’s been picky and she doesn’t. There are also lots of snails in my tank, and I enjoy watching them as well. I made a commitment to the little cube of glass that holds not just water, but life: I committed to make time each day to tend this little glass garden because it gives my joy and peace, especially in the winter months in Saskatchewan where there is nothing green. Looking into this little garden on my desk gives me calm when the world is, generally, chaos and anger these days.

I didn’t commit to do these things because I wanted to document the process, upload videos, and make money from subscribers: I made the commitment knowing that very few people would share the same sense of peace that I receive, but also knowing the peace and joy I would receive would be worth the small sacrifices I’d need to make to commit to the tank. Now as it just so happens, we now have a larger tank in our living room that we’re making into a tropical fish oasis. Plants, snails, and fish will now give not only joy and peace to me, but to my husband as well.

Likewise, commitments to the interior life aren’t mean to be a way at grabbing at glory, or scoring “points” with God. The interior life is meant to be a collection of moments that grant us peace, joy; they are little shelters from the winds and rain. 

I won’t have the opportunity to impose ashes upon my forehead this Wednesday. As a working priest, its often difficult to meet the promises of daily liturgy. Often its just a moment in the morning, a quiet moment at night. When I woke earlier than usual, I had prayer on my mind. In the cell that is my mind, I ran through “Venite adoremus”, the opening psalm prayed before recitation of the Divine Office. I recalled a time when I prayed the entire office, mostly in the cool of the back yard, on my iPad. I remembered the commitment I made to pray Vespers and Compline each night, along with the rosary. I thought back to my visit to the shrine in Akita, Japan, where the Christ through the Blessed Sacrament spoke to me, called me to spend a little more time with Him in the chapel.

Be mindful of what your motivations are, especially in the interior life.

Challenge yourself to question what your motivations are; look deeply into your reasonings, and do not be afraid to question.

Missing a commitment to prayer isn’t a great thing, but it happens. When you do, open the door to finding other opportunities to meet those commitments.

Don’t groan about it as a heavy burden. Remember! This is a burden that is easy, a task that is light.

1.

Fat Tuesday

Yesterday, I read an internet meme that pictured the Blessed Mother as having had intimate relations with a shepherd, claimed it as a virgin birth, and started a religion. The meme was put out by a satanist. When I looked on their active tiktok profile, what I saw was a stream of memes taking pot shots at all religious faiths. 

They were all designed to provoke, defend, argue.

The myth of our age is: when challenged we have to engage, regardless of the costs; that in every situation there is a need to react, mostly without giving thought to consequence. I’m just as guilty as the rest. 

The day before the commencement of Lent is often given to excess, the focus being on the “what” we’re giving up rather than the “why”. This got me thinking about the reasons for this.

Christianity can be a faith of consumption, or it can be a faith of production, or it can be a faith which steps out of the need to consume, to produce, but it was never meant to be a faith that rests in consuming (be it the Sacraments or the need for approval or the need to be safe or the need to hidden or the need to avoid persecution) or producing (faith, safety, a need to be hidden, a need to avoid persecution, a need for power). Christianity is a faith that is meant to transcend these things and rest in the Infinite Possibility of a Being which knows us, which created us, which loves us, Infinitely. 

Those who would engage in argument or provocation for the sake of argument or provocation are operating lower than what we as human beings have the potential to operate as. I’m calling out politicians on all sides of the spectrum of left and right, religious leaders, activists, road ragers (including myself), and anyone else who provokes for the power without considering the consequences (including myself!)

Our faith calls us to consider that, Love steps above the human need to be right, or the shame of being wrong. It calls us to be challenges by beliefs we may hold as canonical that in fact are holding us back from knowing deeper considerations of living. It calls on us to love in the light of this, in the light that the love may be seen as a provocation. It calls on us to be silent, to dis-engage with the mundane and engage with the Divine. When Jesus talked about going into our room, locking the door, and praying to the Father, I think this is what He meant. Leaving behind the world, closing our eyes, mentally praying through memorized prayers, conversational prayer (where we speak, and listen), and then recognizing in the stillness the presence of Love greater than all that is outside the door we have closed to be in our solitude. This is the Franciscan method of contemplative prayer, and I invite you to engage with it during Lent:

Each day I’ll attempt to write on one of the readings of the day. Take up your Bible, in a place of stillness and calm, read quietly. Then, see the image of the reading in your mind, find yourself as a person that is part of it (either observing or actively taking part); let the scene play out. When your mind drifts, slowly re-envision the scene in your mind. As you do this, you will find yourself in a place of quiet where your inner chatter continues but you are drawn to the stillness and the chatter is more of a din in the background. Rest in this place, knowing this is the presence of God, for a few moments. If you wish, mentally pray, converse, but attempt to remain in the stillness and really listen. You may not hear anything, or feel anything: that’s ok. After a few moments in the stillness, return to the space you are in by opening your eyes. Breathe slowly. Journal about your experience if you’re called to do so. Set a timer for 15 minutes to begin with, slowly increasing the time you engage.

While tomorrow is the first day of Lent, the season has been upon us now for several weeks. We have been in preparation for the journey we begin tomorrow when we open the door, step out, and being to move closer to the greatest liturgical celebration of our faith.

Fat Tuesday