christianity

6. Confession

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There are a couple of ways to make a confession.

If you’ve never made a confession before, or it’s been a long time since you’ve made a confession, you may want to consider taking some time, sitting down with paper and pen, and doing something similar to what is done in the fifth step of Alcoholics Anonymous.

“Make a fearless and moral inventory of ourselves.”

The first time I did this I wasn’t even 20 years old so there wasn’t much for me to really write about–given than I’m now almost 54 and when I look back there’s a lot more to the field than there was when I was 20!

A fearless and moral inventory requires courage. There may be things that we look back on that we don’t feel proud of. There may be things that, when we look at, we cringe thinking about how we behaved, or how we functioned.

Remember that the inventory that we’re creating isn’t meant to relive the experience. If you do feel badly about the experience, if you feel some shame or embarrassment about the experience, this is a pretty good indicator of a couple of things: firstly, you’ve changed as a person! You’re not the same person that you were, and the fact that you see the event in a different light shows that you’ve grown in your outlooks and values. Second, you have a choice now about what to do with those feelings you feel. You can try and forget what happened and move forward, or you can take the power that event currently has over you away. You do this by admitting to yourself that you’ve changed, that it might have been wrong even though at the time it felt right; you can admit to God that it was wrong, consciously. Talk to God in prayer, acknowledge that you’ve changed.

The hard part is admitting to another human being the nature of why you did what you did. But if you want that event to loose its power over you to make you cringe, to make you feel guilt, or shame–talking to another person, talking in the context of confession where you trust the person you are speaking to will 100% remove the power it has over you.

For this type of confession, it’s good to make an appointment with your priest, explaining what you’re needing to do, so you will have no issues of time.

The other type of confession is one that typically happens a lot faster. It’s one you make, having made regular confessions, where you simply need to explain in brief. It may only be one particular issue or anger. “I let anger get to me while driving again, and it affected me during my day in that I lost my temper.” In that situation, the confession may only take 5-10 minutes.

At the end of either type of confession, the priest will give you a penance. Typically, this is a series of prayers you need to say before the Blessed Sacrament, but can also include conversations about ways of overcoming challenges that lead to those behaviors you’re not feeling great about. “What can you do the next time you feel angry behind the wheel to help either reduce the time you’re angry, or make it so that it’s just a blip that you move on from almost right away?”

Here’s a graphic that has some good points about what to expect, and what you’ll need to know “liturgically” before you go. The priest will be able to help walk you through if it’s your first time, or if it’s been a while.

Church teaching tells us that reception of the Eucharist needs to be done in a state of grace, meaning that you don’t have any burdens on your spirit that might get in the way of the Divine Love you are about to receive through the Blessed Sacrament. That’s not to say that the Eucharist can’t be transformative, or that we may receive not feeling like we are in a state of grace. Rather, the church is telling us that to get the most out of the experience, we need to have a heart open enough to receive the abundance of love that is already so much more than we can comprehend. If we unburden ourselves to the best of our ability, we are able to take in as much of that Divine Love as we are able.

6. Confession

2.

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In that time Jesus said to His disciples: You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt lose its savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is good for nothing any more but to be cast out, and to be trodden on by men. You are the light of the world. A city seated on a mountain cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but upon a candlestick, that it may shine to all that are in the house. So let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Do not think that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets. I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. For amen I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass, one jot, or one tittle shall not pass of the law, till all be fulfilled. He therefore that shall break one of these least commandments, and shall so teach men, shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven. But he that shall do and teach, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

Matt 5:13-19

I find myself awake very early again on a day that I’d rather be sleeping in. I find that in the last couple of years, my brain thinks of its own in the same way a heart beats. I wake up, and I discover to my frustration that it’s been working on problems or angles of looking at things without me, and like a neighbor who plays their music too loudly at odd hours, I’m woken up by the noise.

Some days, I wish I could just sleep like I did when I was 20. Stay awake until 1-2 in the morning, go to bed, sleep for eight, ten, twelve hours. My brain won’t let me do that any more. Come to think of it, neither will my knees or my hips!

The Lenten journey took me to an interesting place in the last couple of days. I found myself questioning a lot, found myself seeing more than I expected to see, and wondering how I got myself in this turn around. That’s what has me awake this early on a Saturday morning. I decided that I needed to go into the oratory, sit down, and pray about it, which lead me here to writing.

In writing a reflection, I go to the 1939 rubrics of the Roman Missal, go directly to the two readings, Old and New Testament, choose one, copy, paste, then start writing after I read the passage of scripture. Today, like a lightning bolt, the Gospel hit me like Our Lord speaking directly to me. I woke up asking myself, how do I convince people that loving in the model of unconditionality, gentleness, actually transforms people’s lives when their hearts are closed to that idea?

The path of this journey has brought me to a place where I find myself in the company of people who believe that the message of Gentleness won’t work; this is challenging for me because as a bishop, as a priest, as a support, as a human being, Gentleness is at the fiber of who I am as a person.

Again, Christ speaks to me in the voice of Saint Francis. I’m drawn back to my favorite story, where St. Francis recognizes that he must serve those whom he most fears–the lepers–because only in embracing those whom he fears will he find Christ most present.

Yesterday, I came home sad, in grief, thinking that the person I was wasn’t in line with the direction those I was traveling with were going. I thought that, perhaps I had been put in the wrong place. Maybe I’m not right to believe what I do, maybe I’m too enthusiastic, maybe I need to tone myself down, not be so energetic or enthusiastic. Maybe I’m pushing myself too much into the role of leader when I need to just not be noticed, blend in, stay safe. Maybe the best thing to do is just follow.

Then Jesus says to me: You are the salt of the earth. But if salt looses it’s flavor, how will it get it back? Once salt looses its essence, it is no longer salt.

When you travel into the city at night, the lights can be seen on the horizon from a great distance, if it’s cloudy you can see them as far away as Lumsden. A city doesn’t hide it’s presence, it exists. A lamp doesn’t get covered up when you need light, it’s put where it’s going to give the greatest amount of light.

How do we convince people that, teaching with gentleness, loving with gentleness, stretching with gentleness, works? By living it unapologetically. Christ knew that we were going to come to His teachings through our trauma, our pain, our histories, our lived experiences. He invites us to let go of the safety of that pain and all the ways of living we have heaped up around us that protect us from more pain, but keep us from being who we authentically are. He says to us: Love one another as I have loved you, love so completely that your mind, your heart, your body becomes Love. And while this is difficult for almost all of us to do fully, completely, when I open myself to the possibility, and embrace what it is I fear the most, I can see how people transform before me. Those embraced become our teachers, become our mentors, become the great window in which Jesus Christ is present.

Love one another as I have loved you.

2.

1.

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At that time, when Jesus had entered Capharnaum, there came to Him a centurion, who entreated Him, saying, Lord, my servant is lying sick in the house, paralyzed, and is grievously afflicted. Jesus said to him, I will come and cure him. But in answer the centurion said, Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man subject to authority, and have soldiers subject to me; and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it. And when Jesus heard this, He marveled, and said to those who were following Him, Amen I say to you, I have not found such great faith in Israel. And I tell you that many will come from the east and from the west, and will feast with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, but the children of the kingdom will be put forth into the darkness outside; there will be the weeping, and the gnashing of teeth. Then Jesus said to the centurion, Go your way; as you have believed, so be it done to you. And the servant was healed in that hour.

Matt 8:5-13

As I believed, as a child, God was a close friend. This wasn’t something that I learned. It was something that I knew.

I was four when my parents started talking to me about Jesus. Recalling those moments, I have to either believe that reincarnation is real, and I’d come back from someone who already had the knowledge and the faith, or–easier for me to believe–that knowledge was hard wired into me from birth.

It was more like remembering that learning something new.

I went into my small oratory at home before I left for work today, asked for a blessing as I undertook this journey through the Lenten season, and marked myself on the forehead with a cross using the ashes of the palms from last year. I looked at my forehead in the mirror, felt joy as I recognized I was identifying myself as a pilgrim.

Where is it that Lent takes us?

We are embarking into the desert–a place that is isolated from the things of this world. Temptations present themselves to us, offer to lead us off our road. Anger, jealousy, self doubt, self pity, suspicion; these are the distractions that lead us astray. While we know that the destination lies at the Easter vigil, the days ahead are new days, new moments, new experiences seen through fresh eyes. Where does this pilgrimage take us?

The centurion knew Jesus was near, knew that it was the only hope for his servant–someone who scholars now recognize not as a servant, but a lover. He didn’t know what would happen, if he’d be admitted to see this rabbi who had healed so many. Would he be turned away? Would the rabbi chastise him, know that this servant was an intimate?

Would he be seen by anyone who knew him? Was this a risk that was worth taking?

The centurion went knowing not what the outcome of his journey would be, but knew that the love he felt for this man, his companion, was enough to risk being denied.

Our pilgrimage this year may not have an expectation of experience, or revelation. It may be just moments of taking things as they come, reading, praying, listening.

Our first steps have been taken, and we find ourselves in the lodging, taking rest on the first night.

1.

A Measure of “Equality”

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A person says, “I treat everyone equally.” They’re trying to convey that they don’t hold prejudices or make judgements about others. They’re trying to say that they don’t discriminate.

We may even hold this as a tenant of our own personal philosophy.

But do we all treat everyone “equally”? How, for example, do we define what equality is? What is the bar that we use to judge equality?

Take for example the province’s rehabilitation program for drugs and alcohol. Individuals from Regina must call and get into a wait list for a spot in a rehab in Moose Jaw. They must call daily to keep their spot and check in. Once their spot is open, they need to get to Moose Jaw to participate in the program.

If I were an employed individual with a vehicle, three square meals, and access to a telephone this would not be as much of a challenge as if I were an individual who was daily trying to think about where I was going to sleep without freezing to death.

The bar for equal in this situation is not just. It treats everyone equal provided they are able to reach a standard of equality defined by rigid fixed criteria that makes it harder, if not impossible, for an entire group of people with legitimate needs to be “equal”.

When we say we treat everyone “equally”, it is important that we examine what we’re really trying to say. Are we actually treating everyone equally, or are we saying that we will treat someone respectfully provided they meet a standard we may unjustly refer to as “equal”? Does our equality consider the diversity of circumstance, and that some people may have to work over and above what others may to achieve equality?

Saint Francis, recognizing that this practice was not only unjust, but a barrier between him and his full experience of God, did something radically different. He moved himself to the place where the most lowly, the lepers, existed. He made himself equal with the most vulnerable, the untouchables, and served them as if he were less than they were. Christ in the sacraments of the church makes it possible for us to meet the Divine on the same footing; they provide an avenue for us to meet Christ, acknowledge God’s presence within us, within all things, all people.

God’s calculus for equality puts us all on the same starting point. We, in our ego, move ourselves forwards or backwards, sometimes without considering that we may be moving ourselves closer or further away from God’s presence.

A Measure of “Equality”

Presence, Grace, Connection

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There have been times when I’ve felt God’s presence; at the words of consecration, He is there, sometimes loudly and lovingly, sometimes softly and nurturing, sometimes touching my pain, my grief, my sorrow, my frustration, my unworthiness.

Other times, I’ve felt the presence of God by His seeming absence from my life.

I experienced a very long dark night in which my grief was overwhelming. My cup runneth over with tears that I had no easy explanation for. Those around me simply did the best they could to compensate for my inability to function, and were unable to understand what was going on. I was so full of this darkness that I wasn’t able to react to what was going on around me except with tears, grief, pain, sorrow.

I reached for explanations beyond medicine because part of the philosophy of those I was running with was that medication was a sign of weakness, and we needed to be stronger than that. There was an expectation of needing to measure up, to “man up”, that I was very much aware of being unable to meet.

Looking back with clarity now, I know there were two components to what was happening to me–there was the very much medical imbalance of chemistry in my brain that was creating a recurring loop of sorts. There was also the diabolical component. When there is a weakness present, it makes it easier for those that want to take advantage to do so. The diabolical prefers to allow an individual to do the work on their own behalf, to feed on what is provided, and to stir the coals to keep the fire burning. In my case, this was what I call the three year dark night, although it may have been a longer or shorter time.

Looking back in clarity now, Jesus was beside me the entire time I was there. I was simply so focused on what was going on that I wasn’t able to see that the darkness of my life was allowed to go so far and no further. I loathed the idea of suicide and became even more deeply entrenched in my grief because of that. That was the bar that Christ lowered.

Why did I go through that dark night? What purpose could that pain have served?

The first thing it did was to lay the foundation for me to pursue my vocation. Had I not been in the deepness of that dark night I would not have come out the way I had. In many ways, the people around me didn’t believe for years that it was over–that may have been their own darkness no longer having a way to relate. I remember the almost frustrated way that people saw my sudden impulse to laughter, that wellspring of joy that simply couldn’t be released or sometimes controlled. They would ask, “Why are you laughing?” and I would respond “Would you rather I be crying?” I felt life again.

This was the presence of Grace in my life. I’d been shown a taste of hell, then very quickly lifted from it. Doors began to open, and when I walked through them, I was met with resentment from the people I ran with. “Why is he going to university? What does he think he can achieve?” “Who would ever consider hiring you?”

It didn’t matter. There was no resentment because I was free.

Keeping the connection with Christ was easy in the beginning because it was so pure, so present. I took steps to fulfill my vocation, doors opened for people who were supportive and showed me love. More, I was given a means to recognize trauma I’d experienced. It’s still taking time to work through, to heal. I’m still triggered by events in my life–moments that, in the past I would be punished for, or would push through in fear of the punishment are now met with empathy, compassion, and affirmation.

Prayer is the means by which we maintain the connection with the Divine. This takes the form of the formal prayers like the Mass, the rosary, reading with a mind to the Divine, cultivating silence and listening. Soon snow will be falling around us. When it does, and it’s falling softly and gently, go outside and listen. Things seem muffled. There’s a stillness even in the presence of the noises of the city. That’s what prayer is like, what prayer is meant to do. It’s the finding of stillness in the presence of the noise of the world. It’s not meant to remove the noise, but rather to exist along side the noise without dwelling in it.

That stillness is achieved in many ways. The simplest is quiet, repetitive prayer. Choose a short prayer, a simple prayer. Close your eyes and simple repeat the prayer in your mind, over and over. Do this for a short period to being, maybe 5-10 minutes. As the prayer becomes part of your inner dialogue, practice walking through the day repeating the prayer. In time, this becomes part of who you are. You will go to sleep in the prayer, stirring in the middle of the night with the prayer in your thoughts, waking with the prayer before you. Make the prayer a part of your being by repeating it constantly and consistently.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

My Jesus, mercy.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Hide me in Your Wounds.

Presence, Grace, Connection

An Open Letter to the Queen City Pride membership ahead of the 2024 AGM.

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I need to preface these words by saying I’ve only heard one side of the story. However, I trust my instincts as someone who has experienced trauma that I hear these words from someone who has very clearly experience trauma as well–as that, I believe I have heard the truth and speak only to what I have heard. Before receiving a very polite letter, Mirtha attended a meeting where she was treaded abusively and demeaned.

I want to being by saying that I feel very odd being a bishop, and having an overall sense that there aren’t a lot of people that see me as being relevant, or making a significant contribution to the 2SLGBTQIAP+ community. If people don’t think you’re relevant, you’re able to say things a little more freely than if you had to watch your words.

I pray these words will have meaning.

Yesterday, Regina had a fairly intense wind storm that made it difficult, even the day after, to navigate the streets of our city. Now we have to clean up the mess on our streets so that we can move forward.

Human beings in conflict will often engage in ways that are much the same as the storm we had yesterday. They speak in a “stormy” way. They do this because they are impassioned, energized, and not always thinking clearly about the choices of words or the impact and outcome those words might make. In speaking with force, they inflict damage on the person they speak to; damage that is deeper, more painful, more significant. When it comes from a group of people focusing their force on a person, that intensifies the damage they do one hundred thousand fold.

When people make mistakes, it is our duty to be gracious, to forgive, to try and empathize and understand: but that does not negate the need or call for justice, the need to recognize when and individual has been treated badly because impassioned people speak to them with force. It becomes problematic when those people are so called “community leaders”.

When it is “community leaders” that do this, rather than acting in compassion, rather than acting in compassion towards the most vulnerable, they loose their right to call themselves leaders. They in turn need to be brought to be accountable for their actions, questioned as to why they did not see it necessary to offer an apology; offering a way forward without resolution is gaslighting.

I have been a part of Regina Pride. I was a member long before it meant anything to the people on the current board. We focused on creating events that were within our means and skillsets. We counted on others in the community to contribute their events, and in doing so, presented a festival that was truly community based. We recognized and respected each other’s ability and used the skills we had, rather than get angry or upset because an individuals skillset didn’t meet what we believed was required. That is a toxic behavior. That has no business in leadership or organization.

What has this got to do with me, a bishop?

The individual who was treated this poorly by so called community leaders is a member of my worship community. It is my job as a bishop to advocate for the people in my community who are suffering and experiencing unacceptable treatment by those who should know better.

So I say to the current board of Queen City Pride:

Shame on you. Shame on you.

It’s time for the current board to step aside, to let people who are more in tune with dignity, compassion, and love take a role in leadership. You have thought too long about grants and bursaries. It’s time the board starts thinking about human beings rather than economics.

This is the message of St. Francis, of our Lord Jesus Christ. Human beings are worth more than dollars.

There is an AGM happening on Monday.  I won’t be attending as I don’t see it’s part of my purview to step into an organization that is political and out of touch with the community it proports to serve.  However, you may be.  You should be! Use your voice to demand apologies are made, that people are accountable, that the organization returns to its roots of what it should be:  not just a festival, but also advocating for the rights of the people who are the most vulnerable.  Ask the current board how they can justify their position when they treat one of their own, a respected elder of our community, with such disregard and disrespect.

You have to stand up to say the right thing, no matter dangerous, no matter the consequences.  Right is right, even if no one is right. 

I hope my words moved less than 100km per hour.

Mirtha, I love you.

An Open Letter to the Queen City Pride membership ahead of the 2024 AGM.

28, 29, 30, 31.

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At that time, Jesus said to the crowds of the Jews: Which of you can convict Me of sin? If I speak the truth, why do you not believe Me? He who is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear is that you are not of God. The Jews therefore in answer said to Him, Are we not right in saying that You are a Samaritan, and have a devil? Jesus answered, I have not a devil, but I honor My Father, and you dishonor Me. Yet, I do not seek My own glory; there is One Who seeks and Who judges. Amen, amen, I say to you, if anyone keep My word, he will never see death. The Jews therefore said, Now we know that You have a devil. Abraham is dead, and the prophets, and You say, ‘If anyone keep My word he will never taste death.’ Are You greater than our father Abraham, who is dead? And the prophets are dead. Whom do You make Yourself? Jesus answered, If I glorify Myself, My glory is nothing. It is My Father Who glorifies Me, of Whom you say that He is your God. And you do not know Him, but I know Him. And if I say that I do not know Him, I shall be like you, a liar. But I know Him, and I keep His word. Abraham your father rejoiced that he was to see My day. He saw it and was glad. The Jews therefore said to Him, You are not yet fifty years old, and have You seen Abraham? Jesus said to them, Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I am. They therefore took up stones to cast at Him; but Jesus hid Himself, and went out from the temple.

–John 8:46-59.

Again, I must apologize for not keeping up. It’s been a week. And every year, I look at the numbers of the posts and say to myself “I’ve done something wrong. It can’t be this far ahead. I must have missed a day.”

But I haven’t.

Today is Passion Sunday, the beginning of the strange period of Lent. Today, I covered the crucifix and the statue of the Blessed Mother with purple cloth; the curtains that usually are pulled back to reveal the mural of the life of Christ behind our altar today remained closed. I left the lights turned off over the pulpit and the altar. At home, my husband came into the oratory and helped me to cover the icons behind the altar. I removed the Blessed Sacrament from the monstrance that usually sits on my altar and replaced it with the crucifix, covered in purple. Some icons are exposed still–I need more purple cloth.

During this period of time, when I say the Office or pray Mass, I always tell myself that the coverings don’t really make much of a difference, but by the end of the first or second day I realize I miss them as much as I miss the alleluia. Parts of the Mass today were omitted.

When I was following the Medicine Wheel path, I would go out into the wilderness and fast. It wasn’t isolated–we were supervised, checked on, and on the fourth day without food and water we were called back in for ceremony and a feast to break the fast. On the first day, I’d usually sleep most of the time. I remember feeling cold, tired. Not hungry or particularly thirsty. By the middle of the third day, I would begin to feel achy. And cold. I slept. On the morning of the fourth day, I’d wake up and look at the sun, pace, and wait for people to come. I always thought it was later in the day than it was, and I’d wait…and wait…and wait. When my friend came to bring me and the others back in, there was a sense of relief; sometimes tears, sometimes laughter, and then the feeling of water moving down my throat, splashing in my stomach, the feeling of the cells of my body beginning to rehydrate again.

We are in the Passiontide of Lent. While the images we hold sacred, that give us hope and inspire us are covered, in a weeks time on Palm Sunday, we will be rejoicing and celebrating Christ’s entering Jerusalem: The King of Glory. Four short days after that, we will be experiencing the agony of the Passion, the silence at the end of Good Friday, the anticipation before the Easter Vigil, and the Vigil celebrating the resurrection when the bells shall ring out, the icons and images will be revealed again.

In the coming week, it’s important to pray for those we love, those who have passed, perhaps even those who have yet to come. It’s important to think of those closest to us who give us joy, to experience gratitude for the miniscule in our lives, like a glass of water. It’s important that, in our suffering and fasting, we unite our pains, our sorrows, our terrors, our anxieties with Christ’s passion.

In the week before Palm Sunday, reach out to a loved one you haven’t spoken to in a while. Take a little less food. Make time for prayer. Praying the Rosary in bed will often allow you to fall asleep before finishing: these are spare part prayers. Think of them as prayers that may have been omitted by others that are now being completed by you.

Spend time in silence, with scripture. Even if it’s just five minutes of the day.

28, 29, 30, 31.

19 & 20.

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At that time, Jesus said to His disciples: If your brother sin against you, go and show him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listen to you, you have won your brother. But if he do not listen to you, take with you one or two more so that on the word of two or three witnesses every word may be confirmed. And if he refuse to hear them, appeal to the Church, but if he refuse to hear even the Church, let him be to you as the heathen and the publican. Amen I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound also in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed also in heaven. I say to you further, that if two of you shall agree on earth about anything at all for which they ask, it shall be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together for My sake, there am I in the midst of them. Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

–Matthew 18:15-22

Consider here that we ourselves are a sibling to ourselves. When the truth of a thing comes to light, we must own it if we have a part in it, ask for forgiveness when and where it is appropriate, and accept the outcome. In the thinking of the twelve steps, this would be done “except when to do so would injure them or others.”

Whatever we bind on earth is bound in heaven. If we are bound by prejudice, anger, trauma, we cannot expect to easily go into prayer and find peace because we bring these things with us. How do we let these things go?

Slowly, over time, with consistency. If we notice a behavior that is detrimental to our well being, we recognize it, we look for the root of it, and we work to resolve it; writing, speaking to someone (a friend, a therapist), these are all good tools in helping to not just bring these things to the surface, but work to allow them minimal negative influence in our lives.

I’ve been talking to our worship community a lot about the benefits of confession. Truly, this is one way that we can release the hold that trauma and it’s cohorts has on us. What does it look like?

I described confession as being a conversation aimed towards addressing those things which have kept us from a closer encounter with God, with Jesus Christ. In a confession, we speak of those things we may have kept hidden from the world, trusting that what is said is kept in a sacred bond between the confessor and the one confessing. It can be a literal naming of sins, and a reconciliation, but it can and should be more than that.

19 & 20.

18.

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Brethren: Be imitators of God, as very dear children and walk in love, as Christ also loved us and delivered Himself up for us an offering and a sacrifice to God to ascend in fragrant odor. But immorality and every uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as becomes saints; or obscenity or foolish talk or scurrility, which are out of place; but rather thanksgiving. For know this and understand, that no fornicator, or unclean person, or covetous one – for that is idolatry – has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one lead you astray with empty words; for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the children of disobedience. Do not, then, become partakers with them. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk, then, as children of light, for the fruit of the light is in all goodness and justice and truth.

–Eph 5:1-9

Today was snowing heavily–I checked with the community and we made the decision to worship virtually from the oratory at my home.

I spoke in my homily today about how a house divided falls, referring to the Gospel reading where Christ references that if He was imbibed with power from the devil when He casted out spirits, it would be a good sign as that would indicate that the houses of evil were crumbling.

When speaking with Archbishop Roger this morning after Mass from Toronto, I made mention of the special qualities each of the people in the worship community have, how they’ve experienced significant challenges in many different ways, yet always seem to find their way back to the chapel. He pointed out that we are a community that clearly draws support from each other, that this is at the heart of what keeps the community together. Our worship community is very special to me; each individual is a part of the family of Christ that meets together in the little back chapel of the big United Church, sharing, loving, growing, experiencing, being.

It underlined to me the need for the community in Regina, the greater 2SLGBTQIAP+ community, to really self evaluate itself. For decades, there has been conflict that I believe is experienced because of trauma we aren’t ready to explore, or challenge, or accept, or heal from, or recognize as something that we all share in one form or another. If we choose to remain divided, we will do the work that those who would wish us gone would want to do themselves. They will only need to step back and watch as we implode.

Let us pray for unity, and act to create it, quietly, calmly, lovingly.

18.

9. 10. 11.

Hermit Pete, , , , 2 Comments

At that time, Jesus took Peter, James and his brother John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves, and was transfigured before them. And His face shone as the sun, and His garments became white as snow. And behold, there appeared to them Moses and Elias talking together with Him. Then Peter addressed Jesus, saying, Lord, it is good for us to be here. If You will, let us set up three tents here, one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elias. As he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and behold, a voice out of the cloud said, This is My beloved Son, in Whom I am well pleased; hear Him. And on hearing it the disciples fell on their faces and were exceedingly afraid. And Jesus came near and touched them, and said to them, Arise, and do not be afraid. But lifting up their eyes, they saw no one but Jesus only. And as they were coming down from the mountain, Jesus cautioned them, saying, Tell the vision to no one, till the Son of Man has risen from the dead.

–Matthew 17:1-9

What causes a person upon hearing a sound to fall to their knees, when in seeing someone they knew as their teacher transformed before them, glowing brightly, even blindingly?

Many times in the Mass, especially those over the past few days, and those upcoming over Holy Week, we are called to kneel. Our churches typically have kneeling boards on hinges that we can pull down to make it easier to kneel and stand. The congregation I serve, while not having kneeling boards, does have cushions available in the chapel that we use; I looked this week at an image of what the cathedral in Regina used to look like pre-Vatican II. I was shocked to see how stark the sanctuary looks now compared to how it looked before it’s “restoration”–murals were painted over rather than restored, decorative scrolling throughout the sanctuary is now stark cream. Where the high altar once stood is now a void with empty floor, a large clay artwork of the 5 new mysteries of the rosary presented by St. John Paul II takes its place, yet the void between the wooden altar and the space the high altar once occupied is void. It feels like something significant is missing.

I grew up in the United Church of Canada in small town Saskatchewan. Kneeling for prayer wasn’t something I was taught, or a practice that I was even familiar with. I prayed when I laid under my blankets at night, or with the rest of the congregation in church lead by the minister, while the minister’s wife played a quiet background electric organ that became louder and finished right after the “amen”.

While kneeling is not always something we have the opportunity or the ability (it can be so, so painful for me!), we can draw to mind why it is why kneel. We lower ourselves to someone who needs aid, we lower ourselves out of respect, love, devotion. Kneeling, or adopting a position of submission, can, potentially, be part of our deeper practice of prayer–we yield to God, we yield to Christ and His teachings, we yield to moments like the Transfiguration that link Jesus to something more of Heaven than of earth.

9. 10. 11.