At that time, when the feast was already half over, Jesus went up into the temple and began to teach. And the Jews marveled, saying, How does this man come by learning, since He has not studied? Jesus answered them and said, My teaching is not My own, but His Who sent Me. If anyone desires to do His will, he will know of the teaching whether it is from God, or whether I speak on My own authority. He who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory. But he who seeks the glory of the one who sent him is truthful, and there is no injustice in him. Did not Moses give you the Law, and none of you observes the Law? Why do you seek to put Me to death? The crowd answered and said, You have a devil. Who seeks to put You to death? Jesus answered and said to them, One work I did and you all wonder. For this reason Moses gave you the circumcision — not that it is from Moses, but from the fathers — and on a Sabbath you circumcise a man. If a man receives circumcision on a Sabbath, that the Law of Moses may not be broken, are you indignant with me because I made a whole man well on a Sabbath? Judge not by appearances but give just judgment. Some therefore of the people of Jerusalem were saying, Is not this the man they seek to kill? And behold, He speaks openly and they say nothing to Him. Can it be that the rulers have really come to know that this is the Christ? Yet we know where this man is from; but when the Christ comes, no one will know where He is from. Jesus therefore, while teaching in the temple, cried out and said, You both know Me, and know where I am from. Yet I have not come of Myself, but He is true Who has sent Me, whom you do not know. I know Him because I am from Him, and He sent Me. They wanted therefore to seize Him, but no one laid hands on Him because His hour had not yet come. Many of the people, however, believed in Him.

John 7:14-31

You both know Me, and know where I am from.

The last few days have once again pushed me from writing like I have in the past. It’s stopped me from saying Mass as often, from saying the Office. It’s stopped me from making and keeping calls because I’m just too tired.

The other day, I came into the oratory, put my hand on the altar, said “Dominus”, and walked out. That’s all it felt like there was time for.

Tonight after writing, I’m taking up my rosary and taking time because I know I need to do it.

I know the truth that when I don’t have time in the oratory before the Blessed Sacrament, I feel different. I know in His presence, life gets easier.

I had a conversation with my bishop about it, and he empathized and told me that as long as I’m feeling that I’m missing it (and I sure am!), it’s ok. The moment I stop missing it, there’s trouble.

My eyes are heavy.