The Pharisees heard the people murmuring these things concerning him: and the rulers and Pharisees sent ministers to apprehend him. Jesus therefore said to them: “Yet a little while I am with you: and then I go to him that sent me. You shall seek me and shall not find me: and where I am, thither you cannot come.” The Jews therefore said among themselves: “Whither will he go, that we shall not find him? Will he go unto the dispersed among the Gentiles and teach the Gentiles? What is this saying that he hath said: You shall seek me and shall not find me? And: Where I am, you cannot come?”
And on the last, and great day of the festivity, Jesus stood and cried, saying: “If any man thirst, let him come to me and drink. He that believeth in me, as the scripture saith: Out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” Now this he said of the Spirit which they should receive who believed in him. John 7:32-39
We are at the 30th day of Lent, moving closer to the passion, death, and resurrection.
I’m called to think of anxiety, my own in particular. How anxious have I been about doing the simplest of tasks, being afraid to mess it up, being afraid to disappoint people.
What would the anxiety be like for someone who knew they were not only about to meet their death, but know the way they would meet it–not just painful, but taking on the sins of every human being that was, that is, and shall be?
That is a weight I can not fathom.
We are called to pray the sorrowful mysteries this month.
Think on the mysteries carefully. Really place yourself in the moment.
The agony in the garden. Jesus asking God the Father, pleading to take the cup of suffering, but accepting the will of God.
The scourging at the pillar.
The crowning with thorns.
The carrying of the cross.
How short those sentences, those mysteries we repeat in the rosary. How much meaning, how much suffering, how much love those short sentences hold.
Something that I did during the depths of my depression was to ask God to unify my suffering with Christ’s own. I was told a few years ago that something else that is asked is for people who are experiencing suffering to unite it on their behalf.
Our sufferings, great or small, are opportunities for us to frame our experience in a way that is constructive. They can be part of our prayer if we are conscious enough to know in the moment: Lord, take this pain and unite it with your own.